I come from a very stable background; I lived in the same house my entire life.
Most of the kids at BFA have a very different view of what “stable” means. To them, it might mean staying in the same place for two years; keeping a pet while moving to a new house; having the same teacher for 3 years in a row; moving across town instead of moving to a new country.
Where do they find their roots? Definitely not in a house, not in a city or town, not even in a state; many cannot even feel at home in a single country. Their roots are not in locations; they are grounded in relationships.
In talking with another teacher, we realized that they are not willing or eager to commit to a group, team, or even sometimes to God. They are also hesitant to open themselves up and let themselves be known. Could this be because they don’t want to put in roots? Or could it be because every time they got involved in something, they had to leave it? Every time they really got to know and love someone, either they or that person moved away; why then would they want to develop a new relationship if they have to tear their heart out when they move again? Or could it be that the people in their lives have not been committed to them?
Starting the high school orchestra has been difficult because the kids are not yet committed to the group. Yes, there are scheduling reasons why some kids cannot get in, but for others it is a matter of priority. Their personal priorities lie elsewhere, and they do not have a strong urge to help the group because it will mean they lose out on something they consider more important in their own lives.
Even in starting the beginning orchestra we had difficulty securing commitments. Almost nobody was willing last spring to agree to something that would happen this fall! The waves of indecision – even this week! – have made it impossible to plan in advance for what this year will look like.
Can you blame them? Not completely. In a small school, every person is needed to fill out teams and activities. If every student (and every teacher for that matter) participated in every activity he or she could do, we would all be wiped out by the end of the first year. We do have to prioritize, and we cannot belong to every group. Most of my string students are highly motivated academically (several AP classes apiece) and participate in at least one sport. They like doing group things, but they spread themselves thin. They do a little bit of everything without taking root in any one activity.
So what is a teacher of a group-dependent class supposed to do? I may get kids excited about being in orchestra, but what if they are only joining because they like me? What if they quit when I leave? I do not want the orchestra to die when I leave. I want those kids to love being in orchestra because of how it feels to play in a group and learn from others. I want them to get that same feeling of loyalty that made me step onto the sweltering football field for band camp, or put on the horribly ugly orchestra dresses before a concert. I want them to be so enthusiastic about orchestra that they would stay in the class even if they had the most horrible teacher in the world. I want them to feel that they are part of something bigger than themselves.
Some of them will commit to the group. If TCKs form roots in relationships, can they build a tight enough network of friendships within the group to outlast a change in teachers, however many years down the road that may be?
Only God knows, and only time will tell.
