About a month ago, someone asked me, “How’s your transition going?” I gave her a blank stare, then realized she meant my transition back to the States. At that point, I had begun to mentally transition by dusting off my resume, asking for reference letters, and beginning a couple job applications. This, of course, is on top of all the teaching and prep work for the big events of this month and next. But emotionally my transition had not started.
About a week ago, my emotional transition began. As Emily and I began going through the house and looking for large items we could get rid of, I began to realize how much this house, with all its quirks, has become home. Even the little annoying things like the half-dead tree that drops leaves all over the floor, the suspiciously stained mattress we pulled out of its hiding place for living room sleepovers, the chair with the arm that randomly drops to the floor with a bang… these things all hold memories now. They are jars of clay for many sacred moments of my life here in Germany.
There will be new people living here next year who don’t want to have those things (and honestly, neither do Emily and I). I realized that in just a few months, this green house will no longer by my green house. It will be somebody else’s home, a meeting place for their small groups, a place for them to host game nights, movies, and friend gatherings. It’s time to start letting go of this house, these things I have called my own.
Yes, I will miss this place. This home.
