jill.musick

Hoch Blauen Sunrise

Posted on June 9, 2013 by Jill

A year and a half ago, I ran up to Hoch Blauen to watch the sunrise. The experience was so moving, I wanted to repeat it before leaving Germany again. It wasn’t going to be an exact copy, though. For one thing, a perfect moment can never be recreated. For another, last time it was fall on a foggy morning. This time, it was Spring on a clear Thursday morning.

As it is Spring, the sun rises really early. I mean really early – 5:30. I trudged out of the house at 4am, hoping I could convince my tired legs to carry me uphill for an hour and a half.

Something surprised me right away: the light. It wasn’t dark. It was 4am, and the sun was still an hour and a half away from rising, but it was light enough to see without a head lamp! It also wasn’t very cold; it was only a little chilly, which felt nice.

Running uphill during one of the most emotionally draining weeks of my life was not an easy thing. My legs protested, as did my mind. Why make myself more tired? As I ascended the first big hill, my mind started coming up with all kinds of excuses, reasons to turn around and go back to my bed for a couple more hours.

But then I thought of the sun. The glorious sunrise. That elusive source of light that has hidden behind clouds for far too long this year. And I ran on.

Partway up, I began to doubt that I would make it in time. Was I running too slowly? Was I walking too often on the hills? Would the sun rise earlier because Hoch Blauen is up so much higher than the valley?

Again, I thought of the sun. So what if I miss the moment it climbs above the hills? At least I’ll get to see morning light from a place with few obstructions!

The parallel to my spiritual life struck me. It’s like keeping my eyes on Jesus. In running up to Hoch Blauen, if my focus was on the time or on my tired body, I would never make it up the hill. My eyes had to be fixed on the prize, the goal, the light. Funny thing – I couldn’t see that sunlight until I got to the top. But my eyes were fixed on it.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

Hebrews 12:1-2

Looking to Jesus. That’s how I want to live my life.

You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the LORD God is an everlasting rock.

Isaiah 26:3-4

Keeping my mind on God. Even when the pain of saying goodbye becomes too great to handle, He keeps me in perfect peace.

Let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you. Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure. Do not swerve to the right or to the left; turn your foot away from evil.

Proverbs 4:25-27

I finally made it to the top, and the sun was still lingering below the hills, waiting to appear. I climbed the lookout tower to get a better view of the sun’s rising. There is something breathtaking about that moment right before the sun peeks out.

Slowly, ray by ray, the sun came up. As it rose, I could feel new energy and life coming into my body. What is it about the sun that makes me feel like I can fly?

Running back down, songs of praise were going through my head and heart. My spirit poured out prayers and thoughts from this week full of emotion.

I made it home just after 7am – in time to shower and go to school. Rather than feeling exhausted all day, I felt exhilarated and energized. It’s amazing what a little perspective can do – the mountaintop that allows me to see out of the valley for just a little while.

Posted in Running | 1 Comment

Last Week of School

Posted on June 9, 2013 by Jill

We just finished the last week of class at BFA. This coming week will be final exams followed by graduation on Friday. This means that my teaching work at BFA is basically done.

Instrument Petting Zoo

On Monday and Tuesday, I helped out with the instrument try-outs at the elementary and middle school. Some of the time I helped with the string tryouts, while other times my focus was on the brass instruments. It was a bit of a zoo, though it was fun to see the kids get their hands on instruments. Some struggled to produce a sound, while others seemed to find an instant addiction to a particular instrument, much in the way I did when I tried a violin for the first time ever.

Intermediate Orchestra

On Monday, we had a wrap-up orchestra party. When I walked in the door, the kids surprised me with a “card” drawn on the board! We talked about the Spring Concert, sight-read a couple pieces for fun, cleaned up with our fastest time ever of 10 seconds, and had time for snacks and talking. What a fun group! They have grown so much in the last year!

Guitar Class

On Monday and Tuesday, the class had prep time for their worship final, then two days of students leading worship (the second half of their final exam). On Friday, we went outside during out last class time and just spent time together enjoying the beautiful weather.

Lessons

Starting Tuesday, I had my last lesson with each of my private students. It was a time of looking back at personal and musical growth achieved throughout the year, looking ahead to plans for next year, and enjoying one last “present” moment with some sort of fun musical thing, like sight-reading duets by the creek or improvising. I made sure to get a picture of each student for my own personal memories; here are a few of my students:

My students show impressive skill at expressing appreciation in subtle ways. It took me half a day to notice a handmade card and chocolate tucked into my things by a surreptitious student. Others surprised me with kind words of appreciation, though they had struggled in lessons. Other students gave me the kind of hug that meant more than words could ever express. It was an emotionally draining week, pouring so much into each person one last time.

High School Orchestra

This last week was full of random variety as well as meaningful wrap-up. On Monday and Tuesday we watched the video of our Chamber Music concert, and viewed another video of a full orchestra to identify some wind, brass and percussion instruments. On Wednesday, Karen Rempel came in and did a session on the Alexander Technique. As we became aware of our center of gravity, we spent some time lying on the floor. This progressed to a fascination with the difference in gravitational pull felt when playing an instrument while lying on the floor versus playing in an upright position.

Thursday was a fun day of instrument exploration. All the students rotated to another instrument in the string orchestra and attempted to quickly learn the differences in technique and note reading. We played a couple beginning-level pieces with moderate success. As a result of this day, a couple of my cellists now want to become bass players, and one violinist is seriously thinking about learning viola for next year!

Friday was our wrap-up day. We celebrated an amazing semester by going to the EisCafe, filling out course evaluations, handing out certificates, handing out personal notes to each student, and discussing Isaiah 59-60 and how we will spread God’s light into various parts of the world as we disperse. This is a special group of people, and I will miss them.

* * *

It was an exhausting week, but adrenaline kept me going. Friday I finally let the tears loose, allowing myself to feel all the emotions that had been kept in check by the speed of the week’s events.

Posted in Guitar, Lessons, Orchestra | Comments Off

Last Small Group

Posted on June 9, 2013 by Jill

Monday night was our last small group meeting. In some ways, this goodbye was different than others. All our girls are seniors; both Emily and I are moving to the States next year. We’re all leaving together. No one gets left behind to mourn the emptiness while others move on.

Here’s a brief overview of what we did:

Ate dinner (chili)
Watched a slideshow of pictures and video clips
Sang “Happy Birthday” to 4 of the girls
Watched them try to blow out trick candles
Ate dessert (mint chocolate ice cream cake)
Shared favorite memories of small group
Wrote notes to each other, affirming how much we all care about each other
Prayed together holding hands and sniffling (“Pop-up prayer! I mean popcorn!”)
“Group Hug” = dogpile
Goodbye hugs

We will all soon go into different parts of the world: Washington, Texas, Illinois, Indiana, Michigan, Ontario, Georgia, Albania, & Korea. This group of girls is so precious. Emily and I have been blessed to know and love them, and to be known and loved in return.

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Last Spring Concert

Posted on June 9, 2013 by Jill

I’m a little behind on processing all the major events that have happened in the last week. Today is really my first chance to sit and think through all of them.

Last Sunday was the big Spring Concert, the final big event in the music department. In many ways, it was the culmination of my time at BFA, or at least of this semester. For all of us as ensemble directors, this concert is a time to show what our students have learned in the last semester or year. Ensembles represented were Choirs, Bands, Orchestras, Hand Drums, and Guitar Class.

This semester’s guitar class wasn’t the fastest moving class I’ve had, but they managed to pull together a solid performance. The audience’s favorite was “We’re Going to be Friends” by The White Stripes. Last semester’s performance of the Mario Bros. Theme might have been the highlight of my time teaching guitar, but this concert was a solid ending to a class that has worked harder to get where they are.

Intermediate Orchestra sounded fantastic. Their sound had definitely matured since the Christmas Concert. I could hardly believe that some of them have only been playing for 2 years now! The final piece they played was music from “Pirates of the Caribbean,” which they performed as a combined piece with high school orchestra. It was exciting and impressive, and we had a fun surprise with pirate hats!

High School Orchestra was able to showcase the incredible talent we had this semester. Most of the group stayed constant from first to second semester, although we gained a couple strong players (including our only high school violist). This meant that not only did we have talented students in the group, we also had the advantage of continuity, the ability for the group to grow together throughout the year.

The first piece was “Lord of the Rings” with some musicians from Intermediate Band. Lord of the Rings has melodies reminiscent of English folk tunes, so the next selection was an actual English folk song called “The Turtledove.” It is a goodbye song. When I was in high school playing in the Elgin Youth Symphony, we always played Randy Swiggum’s arrangement of this song as a goodbye to our seniors in our last concert of the year. This year, the high school orchestra continued the tradition by playing my own string arrangement as a goodbye to the seniors, as well as my goodbye to BFA. Here are the lyrics of one of the verses:

Fare you well, my dear, I must be gone
and leave you for a while
Though I go away, I’ll come back again
Though I roam 10,000 miles my dear,
Though I roam 10,000 miles.

After playing Turtledove, Katie Roberts gave me a little goodbye tribute, along with flowers and a beautiful piece of Kandern pottery. I will miss working in this department at BFA!

We ended with two movements of Tchaikovsky’s “Serenade for Strings,” the second and fourth (Waltz and Finale: Tema Russo) One of my cellists, Sunshine, was pushing the tempo. At the end of the piece, we went faster than we had probably ever gone before. Though I was giving him stern looks as he pushed forward, he grinned gleefully at me and the rest of the orchestra as we raced to the end of the piece. After the big Tchaikovsky ending, the whole orchestra was stifling smiles and giggles. They had pulled it off at a fast tempo! People in the audience commented afterwards that it looked like there was some kind of an inside joke within the orchestra.

This orchestra has been my favorite part of this semester. They have been so responsive, so eager, and so willing to learn. They have natural talent, yet they want to grow. They have worked well together as friends, musicians, and brothers and sisters in Christ. I will miss them greatly!

I really have loved teaching here at BFA. My first year, the lessons may have been my favorite part, or perhaps the great variety of jobs I was able to do, such as helping in the dorms. For my second and third years, I would have said the Intermediate Orchestra was my favorite part of teaching here. This year, Guitar class first semester and High School Orchestra second semester were my favorites. What great variety! Only God could have known how much I would have enjoyed teaching all these different ensembles and lessons. I am thanking God yet again for these four years at BFA. He has stretched me and prodded me to grow, and showered this music department with growth of another kind during this time. On top of the growth of a string program, there is the more subtle individual growth of the students throughout this process.

Now, as I prepare to leave, there is a part of me that fears seeing the orchestra diminish in size, or change in some way. Yet it’s not mine. I place it in God’s hands, where it already is and always has been. I am reminded that the orchestra program, whole music department, and indeed the whole school are still in God’s trustworthy control. God gives the growth; I’m happy to have been one of the people watering (see 1 Corinthians 3:5-7).

Posted in Band, Guitar, Lessons, Orchestra | Comments Off

Last Nursing Home

Posted on June 8, 2013 by Jill

Last Friday I took the Intermediate Orchestra to the nursing home for the last time. It was a good practice performance for the Spring Concert.

At the end, I played a Kreisler piece, Liebesfreud, as a special treat for the audience. Several of the residents told me they were sad to see me go.

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Rain, Rain, Go Away

Posted on June 7, 2013 by Jill

A week ago today, most of Kandern was afraid our beloved creek would overflow and flood the town. A couple years ago, a never-ending construction project started in Kandern in an attempt to make the creek able to withstand a flood. We had been scoffing at the idea of a legendary hundred-year flood actually coming to Kandern, but last week it looked like that flood might actually be real.

The rain came down steadily from Thursday through Saturday without a break. By Friday afternoon, our creek was swollen and roaring rather unpleasantly. Some people down the street put sand bags outside their basement parking garage.

The sound of the waters rushing through our normally peacefully bubbling creek reminded me of a Psalm I had read a few days before.

Psalm 93:3-4

The floods have lifted up, O Lord,
the floods have lifted up their voice;
the floods lift up their roaring.
Mightier than the thunders of many waters,
mightier than the waves of the sea,
the Lord on high is mighty!

This creek-river was only a small sound compared to God’s voice!

Saturday we woke up to a light drizzle, lots of big puddles, and a lower creek. No flood, but lots of fun water to jump in.

By Sunday, we were more than ready to welcome a bit of sunshine.

Posted in You Know you Live in Germany When... | Comments Off

Open Mic Night

Posted on June 3, 2013 by Jill

Last Thursday night, the Art Factory hosted another Open Mic night for local musicians. A team of visiting artists and actors also presented songs and some simple improv acting sketches.

I took my guitar student B.L. We played “Love Came Down” and “Falling Slowly,” and she played one of her original songs alone. It was a song written in memory of Mari Ellen Reeser.

Posted in Guitar, Uncategorized | Comments Off

Transition: Lasts

Posted on May 31, 2013 by Jill

Earlier I wrote that as the end of my time at BFA approached, I was savoring every moment as if it was the last.

In the last month, I began looking at things in a slightly different way. Rather than only seeing the things I would be losing and holding on to them, I started seeing the things I could bring back to Illinois with me. Some of those are tangible items, like the mugs hand-made by students in ceramics class, German books, and so on. There are a great deal more things, however, that are a bit more difficult to nail down. For the rest of my life, I will carry certain memories, skills, and aspects of my character that have been shaped by this time in Germany. There are even some relationships that, though they will change, will still continue into the next phase of my life.

This week, I have reached a different stage in my transition. Lasts. Goodbyes. Letting go. I’ve cried 3 times this week, which is not normal for me. It’s normal for this part of transition, though.

This week, Tuesday was my last Staff Appreciation Dinner. Friday will be the last nursing home performance after school. Sunday will be the last Spring Concert. Monday will be the last Intermediate Orchestra time, and in the evening our last Small Group time. All next week from Tuesday to Friday I will be giving the last lesson to each of my private lesson students. Next Friday will be the last day of High School Orchestra and Guitar Class. I’m tearing up just thinking about saying goodbye to some of these kids! Suffice it to say that next week will be an emotionally draining week.

After next week’s goodbyes to students, I’ll be saying goodbye to my friends, my fellow staff members. Some of these people are the closest friends I have ever known. That hasn’t fully hit me yet… maybe I’m trying to avoid thinking about leaving them. At any rate, it’s enough to be thinking about student goodbyes for now.

I’m also in the process of saying goodbye to all my favorite running routes. My plan is to run each route with camera in hand whenever the sun is shining, or at least when it’s not raining. I’ll eventually start a facebook album of pictures from each one. So far, I’ve done 3 of my routes. Here’s a small sampling of one of the things I will miss the most about living in Germany:

Lately, I’ve started letting go of things. There are some things I want to hold onto, but in my prioritizing, that means other things get dropped (like a consistent sleep schedule). I’m letting go of routine, as well. Normally I like to stick to my schedule, but things are just happening at a whirlwind pace this week. Part of me is feeling unsettled – not having time to process everything that’s going on, wishing I could at least depend on my schedule to be the same as always. Part of me, though, has embraced this unstable feeling. It’s kind of thrilling to take things as they come.

Transition is a very unstable time. The people, places and things that have been my life and my home for the last 4 years will be shifting very very soon. My future life is very uncertain right now; I know I’m living with my parents, but that’s about it. 1 Samuel 2:2 says, “There is no rock like our God.” So even when everything else changes and is uncertain, God is unchanging. God is certain. He knows my path. I can trust Him.

Posted in Guitar, Lessons, Orchestra, Small Group | Comments Off

SAD

Posted on May 31, 2013 by Jill

Staff Appreciation Dinner (appropriate acronym SAD) is something we like to call “Staff Banquet.” Our students enjoy dressing up for their banquets, and the entire staff of BFA dresses up for this dinner. It is sad, however, because this banquet is a time to recognize those staff who are departing from BFA.

The evening’s schedule looked something like this:

mingling time
dinner
recognition of people departing for HMA (home ministry assignment)
recognition of service for 2, 5, 10, and 15 years
dessert
recognition of departing staff (that was me this year)
closing remarks
pictures, hugs, and kind words from dear friends

The evening marked the start of the goodbyes, the first of the lasts. After thinking forward and celebrating firsts all year, it is finally time for me to start celebrating and mourning lasts.

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Last Recital

Posted on May 30, 2013 by Jill

Last Friday was the last Evening Recital of my time at BFA.

Several voice students sang on this recital. One girl sang “The Phantom of the Opera.” The day of the performance, her accompanist asked me if I could join her on cello! I played the Phantom melody lines, as well as some of the bass lines.

A couple of my students performed. M.F., a middle school boy, played a melody on violin. He recovered well from a memory slip. J.O., my fabulous cellist who grew up in France, played the slow movement of a Chopin sonata. It was beautiful, a piece that fit her French playing perfectly!