jill.musick

As I have been dog-sitting the happiest dog on the planet, I learned something about joy.

Tail-wagging bundle of joy!

Shadow wags her tail in anticipation of a belly rub, ear scratch, walk, or dinner. Sometimes I just look at her and she begins to wag her tail in anticipation of the upcoming hand-fur contact! Her tail wags faster as I approach, pounding out an accelerando on the floor. As soon as I reach her and give her the belly rub, her tail stops wagging and she leans back in enjoyment of the simple pleasure.

If her desire were met immediately every time, would it be less full because she missed out on the time of anticipation?

When I ride roller coasters, I wait in line with a good deal of anticipation, plus a dose of trepidation. The ride itself is short and exhilaration, but without the buildup of tension, the ride might lose some of its excitement. Granted, sometimes the waiting is so long it loses its potency. If Shadow doesn’t get her long-awaited dog treat, she slowly loses interest.

Disappointed

A certain amount of joy is present in the waiting and anticipation. Too often we rush through a time of waiting with impatience rather than enjoying the excitement of it all. Maybe we should be more like Shadow, joyful in anticipation of what is in store.

This Thursday was campus cleaning day. Teachers and staff vacuumed, washed windows, emptied trash cans, and weeded the grounds. Our goal was to get the school ready for opening day next Tuesday!

I volunteered for the weeding. It was fun – cleaning up the gravel around the school, gingerly removing stinging nettle, and clearing sections of dirt.

There was a large patch of stinging nettle in front of this fence; it had given me trouble when I mowed the lawn earlier this summer, so I decided it had to go.

That fence used to be covered in itchy, painful stinging nettle

The science teachers decided we needed to beautify the student stadium, so we took a trip to the grocery store and purchased colorful flowers!

Flowers!

On Friday, Jill Young and I had to get the new flags ready for Opening Ceremonies. That involved drilling holes in wooden rods.

Jills with a Drill

New flags

Ready for Tuesday!

Last Monday, 4 new roommates arrived (only 1 was human).

Emily Kelly is my new official roommate and BFA’s new school nurse. She is from Seattle and likes good coffee, good food (she’s a really good cook!), and triathalons. It’s fun showing her around town, especially all the good running paths! Emily may convert me into a triathlete by the end of the year… she’s already gotten me hooked on the French Press. She’s adjusting quickly to life in small-town Germany, and I’m adjusting quickly to her good cooking and good company!

Emily experiences her first German Cappucino and Shoko Kissen (chocolate pillow)

As a triathlete, she brought her two bikes with her to Germany. Roommates #2 and 3!

Sturdy bike in foreground, "fun" racing bike in the background

My fourth new roommate is of the canine variety. Shadow, the DeNeui family’s sweet black lab, is here till Christmas. She is my accountability for morning runs!

Shadow likes lying by my bed, even though her bed is much more comfortable.

It’s going to be a fun new year with my new roommates!

This much fun under one roof shouldn't be allowed!

This summer I was incredibly blessed to have my whole family visit me at various times. It was a big step for my parents – my dad’s first time leaving the country!

My younger brother David drove down from Bremen to surprise my parents.

My parents saw what life was like here in Germany. They saw BFA, met a few German neighbors at a block party (complete with Kaffee und Kuchen with the entertainment of some not-totally-sober singing of the Baden anthem), watched my orchestra’s performance of a German opera (The Magic Flute by Mozart), hiked, and relaxed at my house. We also took a trip into the Swiss Alps since I live so close.

It was really special for them to be here, both for me and for them. For them, it was a glimpse into my world here; they stepped beyond the limited portal of Skype and into the actual realm of Germany! Their presence here in my house reminded me that our relationship with God is like a Skype relationship now, but one day we will see Him face to face in His house.

A day after my parents left, I took a train up to Bremen to visit David. My older brother Erich flew in at about the same time, so the three of us were able to spend some quality sibling time together.

Erich and I traveled together from Bremen back to Kandern. It was his first time seeing my home here, though he had been to Germany twice before. We also made a little excursion into the Alps – a bit more intense hiking than what I did with my parents!

David will return to Kandern one more time before he heads back to the States. That will be the last I see of my family until Christmas.

I heard this phrase several times in England this past weekend. I went to the little town of Hitchin for a conducting workshop, and whenever we tried a new technique or gesture, we were encouraged to “have a go” at it, or give it a try.

The orchestra of conductors, awaiting a turn at the helm.

It was an inspiring workshop. The teacher taught conducting in a different way, so I felt I was re-learning much of the conducting technique from nothing. Despite differences, however, there were many similarities. I was reminded of some basic things I had forgotten.

Tips on creating a clear pendulum swing

Overall, the main things I will take away from the workshop could be summarized as the following:

– Score learning/study – I need to get better at marking phrases, really knowing the score inside and out, and not relying on the score while conducting. Get that head up out of the music!

– Stance – my posture should be active, ready to spring up when needed. My muscles should be engaged.

– Lower hands – it looks more controlled if a conductor’s hands stay lower. It also draws the orchestra’s attention inward, rather than giving them a visual smack in the face.

– Ear hunger – I should be enjoying the sound, listening deeply, and drawing that sound in to me through my gestures. This is probably the biggest new thing, although I think it’s something I knew intuitively from violin but hadn’t yet carried it over to my conducting. I really have to enjoy the sound of the music if the kids are going to learn to enjoy their own sound.

– Phrases – The same phrases I learn in score study should also come out in my left hand movements. Like pulling pizza dough or taffy, there should be a mime-like movement showing the tension and release of a full phrase.

Gaining new enthusiasm for conducting

The workshop was fun, which was just what I needed because my previous conducting experiences had been stressful. I always felt the pressure to do well. I was enslaved to grades, success, and my value as a conductor. Some people learn well under pressure, but I tend to shrink back from it and just do what is needed to make it through the class.

The problem is, conducting is a part of my life now as a teacher. I can’t just be “making it through” something that could be another outlet of my passion and emotion the way violin is. Conducting has the potential to be a physical expression of the music I hear in my head and feel in my soul. This workshop reminded me of that, and gives me something to strive for in this upcoming year of teaching.

Good atmosphere includes beautiful gardens!

The course was for people from a range of backgrounds; most had never conducted before, or only conducted basic beat patterns for their amateur orchestras. The atmosphere was very relaxed, without that pressure I had previously experienced. It was a good start to my new perspective on conducting.

The whole conducting group

I also enjoyed conversations with all of the other participants of the conducting course and the Viol course happening simultaneously. Viols are fretted string instruments from the Renaissance period.

Swedish viol enthusiast

I talked about religion, faith, and truth with a Swedish girl who is studying music history/theory at Cambridge. I talked about the Jesus of the Bible and the Jesus of the Qur’an with the principal oboist of the Royal Orchestra of Oman. The conducting teacher told me about his experiences growing up in the Church of England. A participant in the course told me of his confusion of being raised Methodist by a Jewish man who left Berlin during a difficult time. Another participant discussed the spiritual connection he felt with music, going so far as to call it his “god.”

our violist and oboist relaxing between sessions

Tea: time for mingling and interaction

There was fertile ground for discussion in this little musical town. I enjoyed it immensely and praise God that He gave me so many opportunities to introduce people to the Jesus I know and love.

To see more pictures, go here.

After 4 weeks of wriggling excitement in the morning, furry kisses, walks in all kinds of weather, discovering socks in places I did not leave them, picking up stinky squishy piles with a plastic bag, removing chew toys from my bed every night before going to sleep, and play wrestling with a miniature cloud, my time with Leah is now over. I passed her on to the next dog-sitting family. During her stay in the Green House, the sweet little dog has reminded me of a couple important lessons.

There are reasons for the leash. Sometimes, God holds me back from something I want to do, and I don’t understand. He’s protecting me from running out into the street and getting hurt. Other times, He’s trying to teach me to stay close to Him. I couldn’t let Leah off the leash because she wouldn’t come when I call her. Sometimes God is calling me to Himself, but even with the leash I’m trying to run the other way. His leash is a gentle reminder that He wants me to come to Him and spend time with Him.

Time with God doesn’t have to be active. Leah likes to just sit in my lap while I work at the computer or read a book. She enjoys my presence, even if we’re not doing anything else. Shouldn’t I enjoy God’s presence the same way? Can’t I just sit there and “be” with Him?

On this July 4, I sit here in Germany thinking about my home country. On this day 235 years ago, Congress approved the Declaration of Independence. We as a nation declared that we wanted to be independent from Britain, separate from their ruling authority. We wanted to be self-governed.

We idolize, cherish and celebrate independence. Being independent means getting to do what we want. As a nation, it was imperative that we govern ourselves.

As individuals, we also want the freedom to do whatever we want. What we don’t realize is that the very freedom we cherish is elusive because the things we crave and use our freedom to seek are the very things that enslave us. Drugs are a good example of that. If you give a person the freedom to use a drug, they use it and become addicted, unable to stop. The freedom to choose leaves a person enslaved. Sometimes rules are there to protect us from ourselves and our natures with their tendency toward enslavement.

Are there any freedoms in America that actually enslave us or will enslave us if laws are passed allowing us to do destructive things to ourselves and others? I can think of a few, but I won’t use this space to debate.

Are there any individual freedoms that enslave us? For instance, as a kid I had less freedom in what I would buy for food. Though I wanted candy all the time (along with carrots, apples, cereal and peanut butter), I didn’t have the independence to choose healthy things to eat. Thank you Mom for buying us good food! Now, I’m on my own and I have more independence. But sometimes I wish someone would take away my freedom of choice. Why do they have to put an entire shelf of chocolate bars there to tempt me? It’s so much easier when someone else is doing the shopping, or when the liberty is restricted in some way. Through my freedom I’m learning self-control as I buy healthy foods, despite the delectable chocolate aisle.

Over the last 2 years, I have become much more independent, not only with buying groceries but paying bills, figuring out bank stuff, teaching, and innumerable other things related to living in Germany. Yet the more independent I become, the more I realize that I will never be truly independent. Here, I’m still stuck with asking people for rides when I need to get somewhere (not having a car does have its limitations). Even if I were totally independent and living completely without the assistance of others, I’d still be depending on someone to stock the grocery shelves. Even if I lived on a farm and grew all my own food and slaughtered my own meat, I would still be dependent on rain and sun to make the plants grow. Even if I could manufacture rain and sun in a greenhouse to make my plants grow, I’m still not the one making them grow! God is. He ordains the mystery of photosynthesis to create food out of water. I can never be independent of God; rather, I’m in-dependent, in a dependent state: dependent on God and on others.

How do we get true freedom? If we have rules, we feel like we suffocate. If we don’t have rules, we enslave ourselves to our passions. As I was thinking about this today, there seemed to be one conclusion: True freedom is found in obedience to a just and loving Creator.

I realized this when I was trying to get the adorable little Leah to come when called.

Leah

I would love to let her off the leash, but she won’t come when called. It works in the house when I have a treat, but not outside in the great wide world with so many wonderful things to smell and lick. I am trying to train her to sit, stay, and come on command, but I still have to drag her to myself when I give the “come” command.

She longs for freedom; when she gets off the leash, she dashes around and around in joyful fits. Yet I cannot give her this freedom because she won’t obey me. If I could trust her to come when called, I would be able to call her away from dangers in the street, large ferocious dogs, people with guns, you get the idea. But if she won’t come on command, taking off the leash would result in spending a few hours chasing a little white cloud around, all to her amusement and my chagrin.

How many times are we in Leah’s situation? God has put some kind of restraint on us, much like a leash. We thrash at it and beg Him to remove it, yet all the while He is just saying, “You won’t come to Me when I call you. I’m going to keep you close and protect you from harm until you will obey Me. Then I can let you romp and play in freedom. For now, just come to Me.”

BFA teachers are all required to do 2 weeks of work during the summer as a service to the school. For the last two weeks, I have been doing my work, which has involved a somewhat humorous compilation of borderline slave labor tasks.

In the fall, the elementary school is moving from Sitzenkirch to Wollbach, and the middle school is moving from Kandern to Sitzenkirch. This means that the job of the work teams this summer has been to set up the new schools. During the first two weeks after graduation, the work teams moved lockers, desks and books and everything else. They even took down the playground from the elementary school.

They left one thing for us to do.

Gravel in the old playground

All of the gravel from the playground needed to be moved to a pit in Kandern. It was backbreaking work, but our team was really fun!

The first step in the process was shoveling the rocks into wheelbarrows.

We worked tirelessly for days, in rain and sunshine, dealing with mud and caked-on dirt.

Once each wheelbarrow was full, we loaded it onto the truck. The truck could handle about 8 wheelbarrow loads at a time; when we tried more, the clutch started smelling funny.

Since only 3 could fit in the truck to unload at the school, the rest of us stayed behind and alternated between chopping up stubbornly packed dirt, playing hangman in the dust, and describing what superpowers our arch-enemies would have. Meanwhile….

At first, we unloaded the truck by shoveling it all out the back. That took a long time.

Then we came up with a new technique involving a tarp. The first part was the same: shovel out a layer of rocks.

Then we pulled the tarp over the edge, dumping the rocks onto the pile.

Finally, on Wednesday of the 2nd week of work, we got to the last shovel-full....

...the last wheelbarrow load....

... and the old playground was cleared and ready for middle schoolers to take over and make it their own sports field!

There's the big pile of rock in its new location.

... and the proud crew, happy our task was complete!

We started the job on Monday of Week 1 and finished it Wednesday of Week 2, but we worked on other projects during that time as well. For instance, all the trash cans in the school needed to be cleaned. I avoided that job and chose to shovel rocks for the most part, but I did get to move a few to and from their places and tape signs on them saying “Please Do Not Use.”

Taping up the trash cans

My favorite job, though also the most sweaty, was mowing the lawn. During Week 1, Jonathan Griesse and I mowed the hill and picnic area. During Week 2 (Tuesday – the hottest day ever!), I mowed the hill and picnic area all by myself! Then Thursday I did a little extra mowing behind the basketball court.

There's the hill. It goes all the way up to the wood pile on the right. My little push mower didn't even have functioning self-propel, so I had to muscle across the slope.

Here's the picnic area. Yes, there are little slopes here, too.

During Week 2 after finishing the rocks, we got stuck with the mopping jobs. Fortunately, I had good company. Suzanne and Katrina and I explored the school…

There they are, up on the rooftop! I joined them shortly after taking the picture.

There was a nice view from up there, but the roof itself wasn't so pretty. Katrina and Suzanne did their best to improve it with their smiles.

Working is always more fun when you have good company. It also is great when you get hour-long lunch breaks that go even longer to finish up games of Dominion!

Dominion is a strategy game involving cards. It's more addicting than Settlers of Catan or Carcassonne...

To celebrate the end of our work weeks, we took some of the wood from the playground and had a little cookout.

Mmm, fire and sausages and s'mores.

What great people!

Though the idea of work weeks sounds like an infringement on the freedom of summer, it was actually really fun working together with an awesome group. The structure of working 9-3 every day was freeing as well, because I knew I would not waste my day, but I still had lots of free time in the afternoon and evening. It was a little taste of a “normal” job, but way more fun!